1. Celebrities are insecure, just like the rest of us.

OK, maybe you’re super confident, but if you’re like most of us, self-doubt creeps in here and there. Just because celebs are successful and famous doesn’t mean they’re immune to feeling bad about themselves. I can’t even begin to tell you have many celebs have opened up to me about their insecurities, big and small. Well, OK, I guess I can…

Daniel Radcliffe feels short. Justin Baldoni thinks he’s not smart. Patrick Duffy and Tony Goldwyn wonder if people really like them. Josh Radnor thinks he looks like a potato. Ed Asner constantly worried he was too fat. Danny Aiello thought he wasn’t good enough.

And they feel like outsiders.

Wait, what?!? The very people who are inside Hollywood don’t feel like they’re part of the gang? It’s true. Many celebs have opened up to me about feeling different. Many grew up on the sidelines and didn’t fit in.

This includes Mayim Bialik, Tim Daly, Danny Pudi, Jason Ritter, Tim Gunn, Debi Mazar…and many more. But really, who can’t relate to this?

2. They’ve had plenty of struggles.

Sure, many had lucky breaks. And yes, they’re “stars.” But just like “real” people, they’ve been slammed by life, and by people in their lives.

Tippi Hedren was stalked and then shunned by Alfred Hitchcock. Skip Bayless grew up with two alcoholic parents. Todd Bridges was sexually abused, and his father took his abuser’s side.

But here’s the thing. They worked through their feelings. They talked about it. They didn’t get stuck there.

3. They didn’t give up.

I’ve heard this over and over: The key to success is simply keep going.

Many of my guests were rejected over and over (and again and again—it is show business, after all). They were told they’d never make it. Yet they ignored naysayers and developed a thick skin. Eventually, a door opened. Then another. And another.

Marion Ross worked her butt off for years before getting the chance to play Mrs. Cunningham. Speaking of Happy Days, Henry Winkler couldn’t catch a break after playing the Fonz, but he stayed in the queue—and eventually won an Emmy for his work on HBO’s Barry. It took Cesar Millan multiple attempts to cross the border from Mexico. He slept in a bathtub. He worked for free. But he had his sights on becoming a Hollywood star and didn’t stop until he made it.

What’s the lesson? If you want something, go get it. Just don’t stop until you do.

4. They laugh at themselves.

OK, it’s unlikely all celebrities do this. But it’s true for most of my guests. Granted, I have an intuition about who to have on my show. I want to talk to people I like and I’m pretty good at sensing who that may be. But I digress…

No matter how big or well-known a celebrity is, I always—always!—find myself laughing with them. And it’s often because they know how to laugh at themselves and their flaws.

Louie Anderson was the epitome of someone who, while unquestionably serious about crafting his jokes and his career, loved laughing at his foibles. Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe laughed with me about his odd habit of acting out conversations in his head, as if it’s for a TV show. Christopher Knight (Peter Brady) saw the humor in his eternal association with pork chops and applesauce. 

5. They have deep gratitude.

Sometimes someone walks into your life and you’re never the same. I’m stunned how often I hear this in my interviews. Time and time again, a celebrity opens up and goes into detail about someone who made a big difference in their life. And they’re deeply grateful.

Suzanne Somers told me she owes everything to her husband, who reached down and grabbed her hand when she was thrown to the wolves on Three’s Company. Talia Shire shared how grateful she is that her brother, Francis Ford Coppola, fought hard for her. Meredith Vieira told me she’s forever thankful for a handful of mentors who helped her overcome her fears and take a chance.

We’ve all heard that gratitude is powerful, but this is proof positive. And if you’re looking for inspiration, look no further. My guests know what’s up.